TOWARDS BETTER SHUL ETIQUETTE

Feedback on this topic is still coming in. Additionally, in shul on several occasions these past few weeks, people have gone out of their way to show me that they've shut their pelephone off or that they stood close to a wall when davening Mincha so as not to block anyone.

Here's an interesting twist on Shul etiquette. Someone mentioned the problem of those who are overly MAKPID on any of the above. For example, there are your shul-talkers and there are others who are fanatic SHUSHers who sometimes disturb the davening more than the talkers do. Anyone who takes it upon himself to "teach" others in shul about the finer points of shul etiquette - be they official gabbai or well-meaning davener - must do it in a non-offensive way so that the point will be taken properly. Come across as holier-than-thou and defenses come up and the situation deteriorates.

More next week, IY"H


How's this for a quote?

“No Jew is at liberty to surrender the right of the Jewish Nation and the Land of Israel to exist. No Jewish body is sanctioned to do so. No Jew alive today has the authority to yield any piece of land whatsoever. This right is preserved by the Jewish People throughout the generations and cannot be forfeited under any circumstance. Even if at some given time there will be those who declare that they are relinquishing this right, they have neither the power nor the jurisdiction to negate it for future generations to come. The Jewish Nation is neither obligated by nor responsible for any waiver such as this. Our right to this land, in its entirety, is steadfast, inalienable and eternal. And until the coming of the Great Redemption, we shall never yield this historic right.”

Who said it? (where and when are questions too, but WHO is the big one)

Before you look for the answer in the ParshaPix and TTriddles section, try to guess.
If you don't already know, you might be quite surprised.

RITE and REASON by Shmuel Pinchas Gelband 
Q Why do we have the custom of holding and carrying a Sefer Torah in the right arm? 
A It is based on the pasuk (D'varim 33:2), ...MI'Y'MINO EISH-DAT LAMO, "... He brought the fire of a religion to them from His right hand." 
A Also, from the phrase in Shir HaShirim (2:6), VIMINO T'CHABKEINI, "...and his right hand embraces me." 
Q Why has YUD-YUD been used by printers to represent G-d's name? 
A The 4-letter name of G-d is written one way and pronounced another. If one interweaves the letters of both names, one gets YUD-ALEF-HEI-DALET-VAV-NUN-HEI-YUD. The traditional printers' abbreviation of this name-form takes the first and last letters, YUD-YUD. 

[SDT] And the ATUFIM (the weaker sheep) went to LAVAN and the K'SHURIM (stronger ones) to Yaakov. Plain meaning, the pasuk is talking about Yaakov's fee for services rendered. Ateret Z'keinim sees a REMEZ to Talit first (ATUFIM LvN), then T'filin (K'SHARIM).

Hasidic Wisdom from the book by Simcha Raz (Elkins/Elkins) 
Two pious people in one town are too many. 
One pious person in a town is not enough. 
It is best to have one-and-a-half pious people. 
How so? Everyone should see oneself as half of a pious person, and see one's neighbor as a complete pious person. Then each will defer to the other. 
- The Seer of Lublin 

One who is never ashamed of oneself, has no shame whatsoever. 
- Rabbi Tzvi Elimelech of Dinov 

Every person should have two pockets. 
In one should be a piece of paper on which is written, "I am but dust and ashes". 
In the other, "For my sake was the world created". 
- Rabbi Simcha Bunam of Pshis'cha 


WHAT'S IN A NAME?
Biblical names are filled with meaning and provide us with insights into the lives of our ancestors. Additionally, they provide us with lessons that we can translate into our lives as Jews.

In Parshat Vayetze we read of the births of eleven of Yaakov's sons (Binyamin's comes later) and his daughter Dina. The name each received is accompanied by its meaning. Gemara & Midrashim often supply other reasons for the names. The same applies to the names of the Patriarchs and other biblical personalities.

Avraham Avinu underwent a name-change from Avram. The Torah emphasizes that he shall no longer be called Avram - this, our Sages tell us, is tantamount to a prohibition on referring to him as anything other than Avraham. Yitzchak, on the other hand, keeps his birth-name throughout his life and beyond. Yaakov Avinu receives a supplementary name - Yisrael - which accompanies his original name throughout Tanach.

Commentaries explain that Avraham's original name was given to him by his idol-worshiping father. It is inappropriate for that name to survive the dynamic development of Avraham as the premier patriarchs of the Jewish People. He is to us, forever, Avraham, the name that G-d gave him.
Yitzchak was named by G-d. With this source for his name, Yitzchak needs no other.

Yaakov was named by his father Yitzchak. This name he can retain. G-d, through the angel who wrestled with Yaakov, and reconfirmed by G-d Himself, gave Yaakov the additional name of Yisrael. Both names - with different connotations - continue to be used.

Some sources say that Leah was a prophetess. They point to the namings of her third and fourth sons, Levi and Yehuda. Rashi brings a Midrash that explains that Leah knew that Yaakov was destined to have twelve sons. She, therefore, expressed the hope that her husband would cling to her because of the birth of Levi, which represented her one-fourth share of Yaakov's children. With Yehuda she thanks G-d for allowing her to exceed her share.

Along the same lines, Leah's prayer that she should not have a seventh son, which would mean that her sister Rachel would be shamed by bearing fewer sons than the "maidservants", is expressed in the name Dina.
(Generally, when a woman is already pregnant - especially after 40 days from conception - it is considered improper to pray for a boy or girl. Commentaries point out that this case was an exception, and that G-d responded to Leah's prayer on behalf of Rachel's honor, and miraculously changed the sex of Leah's foetus.)

The names of our ancestors, and who named them, often give us insights into their lives and provide us with food for thought. And, on a practical level, when we are in the position of naming our children, we should also take into consideration the meaning of the name, the family members with the same name, and (when applicable) the biblical personalities associated with the name. Names mean something.

MA'ARIV (a.k.a. ARVIT)
The Talmud in Brachot teaches us two approaches to our davening - Davening was instituted to correspond to the sacrifices in the Beit HaMikdash; davening was instituted by the Patriarchs. Rather than be an "either, or" type of dispute, we can look at these two schools of thought as mutually enhancing.

(1) The prayers match the korbanot in the Beit HaMikdash... Whereas Shacharit and Mincha correspond to the two daily sacrifices - the T'midim, Maariv does not correspond to a sacrifice, but rather to Hekteir Chalavim v'Eivarim. All parts of an Olah offering were to be burned on the Altar (except for the skins). Some parts of other korbanot were likewise burned. The burning of these parts was most often not completed during the day, but continued throughout the night. In fact, it was desirable to leave much of the burning (especially from korbanot of the afternoon) for the night, so that the Mizbei'ach would be active at night too (no korbanot were brought at night). The burning of the parts had to be completed before dawn, otherwise the korban was invalidated.

Because of the "vagueness" of "the burning of the parts", as opposed to the concrete nature of the T'midim, Maariv also has a bit of "vagueness" about it. When stating the time for Maariv, the Mishna does not say "all night long", but rather uses the strange terminology "no set time" (Ein La Keva).

(2) The Patriarchs instituted the prayers... Maariv is associated with Yaakov Avinu. This is based on the verse in the beginning of this week's sedra (that's why this Maariv Pull-Out is in the Vayeitzei issue of TT) - "And he (Yaakov) "encountered" the place (Makom - also a "supplementary" name for G-d) and spent the night there, because the sun had set..." Elsewhere in Tanach, the word "encounter" is associated with prayer. So we have a verse (1) about Yaakov, (2) with a synonym for prayer, and (3) nighttime - hence, the notion that Yaakov established Maariv.

This too contains a "vagueness". Avraham woke up early and purposefully went to the place where he had stood before HaShem. Yitzchak purposefully went into the field to commune (with G-d) before evening (as he had previously done). These give Shacharit and Mincha their "concrete" identities. Yaakov "happened" upon the place. (He "admits" that he was unaware of the G-dliness of the place, although he did know it as a place where his father and grandfather had prayed.) Once again, Maariv seems a bit less "fixed" than its daytime counterparts.

What does all this "vagueness" talk mean? Maariv is/was known as R'SHUT, as opposed to Shacharit and Mincha, which are CHOVA (obligatory). There is an implication that Maariv is optional. This requires clarification. In olden times, Shacharit and Mincha were considered obligations even for those people who did not know how to daven. They were required to go to shul so that they could fulfill their obligations by listening and answering AMEN to the davening of the Shaliach Tzibur. For these people, however, Maariv was not required. Only those who knew how to daven on their own (remember, we're talking before printing, before easily accessible siddurim, before Torah Tidbits Pull- Out sections) were required to say Maariv.

Maariv today is considered as obligatory as the other davenings. One (a male, that is; see the next section for the female side of the story) must daven Maariv just as he must daven Shacharit and Mincha.

Women...
Without going into the whole topic of women's obligation to daven, let's look at two of the many opinions that exist for this issue:

(1) Women are obligated to daven Shacharit and Mincha, but are not required to daven Maariv. (Remember, this is not the whole picture; there are other opinions.) When Maariv "changed" from "optional" to required, the requirement was not "imposed" on women. This seems to be the mainstream, majority opinion concerning women and Maariv.

(2) There is a minority opinion that women are obligated to daven three times a day - including Maariv.

Note: A woman who decides to daven Maariv should realize that it becomes a vow-like commitment to continue to do so, unless she has in mind B'LI NEDER - that she is NOT undertaking Maariv as an ongoing commitment.

SHOULD a women (who has the time) commit herself to Maariv? There are many women who daven three times a day. Many who don't. There are reasons that Maariv exists. There are reasons that many authorities consider a woman to be exempt from davening Maariv. Women might want to consult with a Rav (and others) before making a commitment.

It is important to remember that Maariv is not only one of the thrice-daily davenings - it is also the time we fulfill the mitzva of the evening Sh'ma.

[SDT} From Lavan's telling Yaakov to wait a week and then he can marry Rachel, we learn 7 days of feasts in honor of Chatan & Kalla, and that one doesn't get married during Chol HaMoed.

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