SHUL ETTIQUETTE (and more)

Avraham Avinu "established" the davening of Shacharit. Ever since then (well, not quite), when Jews get together to daven, some do it right and others, well...

The following is rendered into English from a Hebrew article by Rabbi Shlomo Aviner, Rosh Yeshivat Ateret Kohanim and Rav of Beit El on 
How to daven without "bothering" others
It is presented here in honor of both Avraham Avinu and Rav Aviner, and with the hopes that readers who need to, will take these words to heart. And to action.

Avraham Avinu was in the middle of prayer when he saw visitors and he interrupted his "conversation" with G-d to do Chesed for the travelers. How much more so, that we should not cause others grief in shul, G-d forbid.

• If you are the Chazan (Shali'ach Tzibur), do not daven more slowly that what is acceptable, nor faster than what is usual. Do not cause "a burden to the congregation". If you take too long, you will cause others who must go to work to leave before the end of the davening. And if you are davening in a Minyan with a SHATZ that is too fast or slow, don't admonish him in public, but appeal to him gently, after the davening...
• Shul is not an Opera House. Use songs that the tzibur is comfortable with. It is advisable to give a guest SHATZ a few pointers on the local practices (we sing this, but not that; people don't like stretching, etc.).
• Shul is not a nursery. Young children that are noisy should not be brought to shul. A quiet child is fine, but if he starts to disturb, please take him outside immediately, even in the middle of the Shma or Amida.
• Shul is not a club house. An urgent conversation should be taken outside. Can't? Then whisper quietly.
• Shul is not a carpentry workshop. Don't bang seats and box lids.
• Gabayim are not our slaves. Please put Siddurim, Chumashim, and other S'farim away properly.
• Try to keep MI SHE'BEIRACHs short. Even forgo them sometimes. Better to give Tzedaka if you get an Aliya. Guaranteed that HaShem will bless you even without the Gabai's announcement.
• Shul is not a "free for all". If you are late, do T'shuva for it. Don't organize a private repetition of the Amida that will burden others.
• Shul is not an election rally. Don't shout out YASHER KO'ACH to the olim, shali'ach tzibur, or kohanim. They'll be happier to receive a personal, quiet, Yasher Ko'ach.
• The Netilat Yadayim room is not a club house for Kohanim and Leviyim. Conversation is usually at the expense of Chazarat HaSHATZ and others.
• The Silent Amida is exactly that. One may not do that which increases his own kavana if it will disturb others. This includes davening too audibly and clapping periodically to concentrate and focus.
• If you see a new face in shul, give him a smile, a handshake, and an offer of assistance in finding a seat, Siddur, and Chumash.
• If you have a "Chiyuv" and so does someone else, yield the Amud or Aliya. The merit of that gesture will be a greater "boost to the soul of the departed" than the davening or Aliya.
• A shiur is not less than a concert. Don't walk in late and don't leave until it's over.
• If there is a shiur between Mincha & Maariv, choose between it inside and a conversation with a friend outside. Don't try to do both inside, because this will disturb others.
• If you are looking for challenges in the field of BEIN ADAM L'CHAVERO — come to shul. Proper interpersonal behavior is also the Will of G-d.
  And while we are on the subject, let's look at some of the items in Rabbi Hershel Schachter's article: Halakhot and Minhagim for the Shatz and Congregation.
• It is important that the congregation's answering of AMEN be neither to early (Amen Chatufa) nor too late (Amen yetoma). The chazan can help in this area by not prolonging the end of a bracha when it tends to trigger early AMENs.
• In Kaddish, the custom is to say AMEN after the chazan says V'IMRU AMEN, not simultaneous with his.
• The chazan (and each of us) should be careful to pronounce all words correctly, especially G-d's Name. The accent is on the last syllable – a-do-NOI (or NAI).
• There is strong halachic opposition to repeating words, especially during Sh'ma and its brachot, and in the Amida's repetition. Even if it fits the tune better.
• The chazan should know the meaning of the words he is saying, to avoid mispronunciations and improper phrasing.
• The reciting of the full Sh'ma is very important, as it constitutes that fulfillment of a Mitzva D'Oraita. Therefore, the Sh'ma should not be rushed so that people should have a little more time for this great mitzva.
• A chazan must not change the NUSACH of the shul to his personal nusach. 
• The chazan should wait for at least 9 others to finish their Amida and a majority of the daveners (whichever is greater), before starting the repetition.
• (my addition) Care should be taken not to walk in front of someone who is in the middle of the Amida. Similarly, one must take care to find a spot for the Amida that will not put others in the position of walking in front of you (be it intentional or out of ignorance) while you daven. This rule is not for the benefit of the davener, but is based on proper respect for the Sh'china (Divine Presence) and is therefore NOT WAIVABLE.

There is more to include under this topic, but we'll leave it for another time. We should all make an effort to improve our davening as individuals and as members of a TZIBUR. In the merit of our efforts in this area, may HaShem bring true Shalom to us.

"Malki-Tzedek, the king of SHALEIM." Targum Onkeles translates Shaleim as Yerushalayim.

The Special Number 8
8, as mentioned above represents "beyond nature". The 7 days of Pesach - the 7 weeks of 7 days each of the Omer - are followed by a super-8 day (50 is like 8 in that it follows 7 sevens), Shavuot, the day we received the Torah - the ultimate "beyondnature" aspect of our Jewish lives. This idea is echoed on Sukkot, when the 7 "nature" days of the Holiday - the mitzvot of Sukka, the 4 Species, Water of Libation, the Arava, all involve elements of nature - are followed by an 8th day - Shmini Atzeret. The nations of the world have a connection to Sukkot, including the70 oxen offered in the Beit HaMikdash; only Yisrael is involved with the day beyond. That was G-d's special extra gift to us. The MISHKAN went through a 7-day period of inauguration, and only on the 8th day was it ready to begin its "beyond nature" functioning. An animal goes through a minimum of 7 days and only from the8th day can it be used for the "beyond nature" Korban in the Beit HaMikdash.

Hasidic Wisdom - from the book by Simcha Raz (Elkins/Elkins)
The love of Israel is greater even than the love of G-d, because even G-d loves Israel. Therefore, whoever loves Israel loves G-d's beloved. - Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi 

If one believes in the lovingkindness of the Creator — then there are no questions. And if one does not believe — then there are no answers. - Rabbi Yaakov of Radzimin 
Faith is clearer than vision. - Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk 

Avraham Avinu sanctified G-d's name by not taking spoils of war from the King of S'dom. The expression he used in his declaration was, "neither a thread nor a shoe lace..." In the merit of that statement, his descendants (us) have a mitzva with thread - TZITZIT and with a shoe-strap - T'FILIN. And in honor of Avraham Avinu, we perform these mitzvot at the davening that we attribute to him - SHACHARIT. 

Ari B. from Toronto caught an error in the number of times we claimed we'll be saying VTUL this year. It is not 414 as reported last week, but rather 396. Thank you AB. 396 is the G'matriya of HOSHI'A, as in our prayer the G-d will save us from evil decrees and give us GISHMEI BRACHA.

The Deeds of our Ancestors...
The Avot and Imahot are not only the progenitors of the Jewish People, but are our role models as well. The well-known maxim "Maasei Avot Siman l'Vanim" (the deeds of the parents set the pattern for the children) not only helps explain many events in Jewish History, but also challenges us to consciously learn from theirdeeds, emulate the good qualities and shun those areas where our ancestors failed.

Avraham Avinu is the premier Jewish role model. His many deeds in general, and those episodes considered "the ten tests of faith" in particular, inspire and mold Jewish character for all time. Some of these tests became mitzvot in perpetuity. Avraham is asked by G-d to "walk before Me and be complete (tamim)" by circumcisinghimself - we are commanded to circumcise all male offspring.

According to most countings, the first test for Avraham was the opening words of this week's sedra, Lech Lecha. Avraham Avinu was commanded to go (come) on Aliya, without benefit of Aliya shaliach, no pilot trip, no support group back in Charan, and no absorption apparatus in Israel. (Antagonistic locals were present thentoo.) Unlike Brit Mila, mitzva-counters do not list "Lech Lecha" among the 613. However, the mitzva of Aliya most definitely is counted among the Torah's mitzvot by some authorities (e.g. Ramban). Other authorities, while not counting "Yishuv Eretz Yisrael" among the 613, do consider it a Divine imperative (e.g. Rambam).
Avraham's willingness to obey G-d's command to bring Yitzchak as a sacrifice became the model for a Jew's dedication and devotion to Torah. We are all challenged to face our "tests of faith" with that same special commitment. So too, must we be inspired to heed the call of "Lech Lecha" thereby earning G-d's blessings andpromises.

May it be HaShem's will that those Jews who live in Israel, be it for generations or as new (or old) Olim, shall be blessed with lives of prosperity, health, and peace. And that those Jews who do not YET live here, (shall likewise be blessed and) shall be inspired by Avraham Avinu's faith, by the sanctity of Eretz Yisrael,and by the opportunities for spiritual development as individuals and community, to "go forth from your land, from your birthplace, and from the house of your father, to the Land..."

ON THE OTHER HAND (maybe)...
Towards the beginning of the sedra, Avraham Avinu is driven out of the Land of Canaan by a famine. The Talmud teaches us that this is a source that one may leave Eretz Yisrael in times of mortal danger. True, Elimelech, Machlon, and Kilyon (Naomi's husband and sons) are considered to have been punished for that, but commentariessay it was their abandonment of the community which relied on them for sustenance and guidance that resulted in their punishment - not leaving E. Yisrael per se. In contrast, Avraham did not yet have any responsibility for the people in Eretz Yisrael - the Torah makes a point of telling us that the "Canaanites were yetin the Land".

On the other hand, the Ramban is very strong in stating that Avraham sinned a great sin (some commentaries say it was unknowing, albeit a sin) by leaving the Land that G-d had sent him to. Many commentaries disagree with the Ramban and give their opinions for Avraham's leaving not being wrong. However, the Ramban's positiongives rise to the question as to whether it is possible for the deeds of our Avot and Imahot to be both good and bad at the same time. The answer can very well be - Yes.

Interestingly, some see Avraham's flight to Egypt as the cause of the exile and enslavement of the as-of-now future People of Israel in Egypt more than 400 years later. Others see it as the act which permitted the events of the Birth of the Jewish Nation to take place.

We have a second example of an action of Avraham's from which we learn an important principle, and at the same time, an act that is considered wrong, once again by the Ramban. As Avraham and Sara approached Mitzrayim, he asked her to say that they were brother and sister, in order to save his (Avraham's) life. The MidrashP'liya says that from here we learn that one may violate the Shabbat (for example) in order to save the life of SOMEONE ELSE. There are other sources that permit a person to violate (most) mitzvot to save his own life, but that this rule extends to others is based on this episode. Sara was subjecting herself to violationat the hands of Par'o - a potential capital offense of adultery, in order to save Avraham.
[Side point: Although adultery is one of the three mitzvot that one must "be killed rather than violate", for a woman who can remain completely non-active and since the issue of public disgrace of G-d's Name is not involved either, Sara would be permitted to "be with" Par'o (a non-Jew) in order to save her life or Avraham's.This situation strongly parallels the case of Esther in Achashverosh's palace.]

On the other hand, the Ramban states that Avraham should have relied on G-d's protection rather than subject Sara to being taken by Par'o. Again, we might have a situation where we can view the same deed as proper on one level and improper on another.

A question on the Ramban's view arises from the Mishna in Avot that states that "Avraham was tested with ten tests of faith, and withstood them all..." In light of the fact that the "test-counters" consider the famine and the taking of Sara as two of the tests, how can we understand the Ramban's statement that Avraham sinnedgreatly in these two instances.

The answer lies in the meaning of a test of faith. Sometimes people are placed in a difficult situation which both challenges them to maintain their faith and to act or react to their situation. It is possible for a person to make the wrong choice as far as what to do, yet remain faithful, nonetheless. Perhaps this is whathappened with Avraham Avinu, in the Ramban's eyes. The famine in the Land so soon after his being led there by HaShem, definitely tests his faith. To this, Avraham remained steadfast. Did he do the right thing by leaving the Land? Maybe, maybe not. But he remained faithful to G-d. He did not despair. He handled the situationas he thought best. It was a tough situation, and he emerged unscathed, as he had from the fiery furnace.

The issue is more complicated than the treatment above, but suffice it to say that what lessons we do or don't draw from the deeds of our ancestors is a matter of Talmudic teachings and tradition, not our own analysis or whim.

We must always learn from the deeds of our ancestors, as they are the patterns of our own psyche and behavior. This does not mean that we always must DO the same things they do. Sometimes it means the opposite. But we always learn from them.

As it was with Avraham and Sara, the first Olim; so it is with Olim today. Regardless of country of origin, the Oleh's mind and heart will often drift wistfully to his past. Just as Avraham is complimented for his commitment to Hashem, we must appreciate the Oleh, realize the sacrifices that he/she has made, and help easetheir absorption into Israeli society.

So it is for Baalei T'shuva (and converts). Although they have left a less spiritually fulfilling life behind, and they are truly happy with their new life, there will always (usually?) be times when they will look back and wonder. Their undertaking of Torah and mitzvot was not easily done and is to be commended.

[SDT] The Malbim suggests that this request of Avra(ha)m's is considered a pre-Torah divorce, thereby removing Sarai from the category of "married woman". This would save her from serious violation if she were to be taken by Par'o, and also renders their claim of brother/sister more truthful.

"TO DO" OR "ON DOING"
The Sages required us to recite a bracha before the performance of many (not all) of the mitzvot. These Birchot HaMitzva come in two forms: "On the performance of the mitzva" and "to perform the mitzva".

Examples of the former type include "on the eating of matza/maror", "on the counting of the Omer", "on reading megila", "on the washing of the hands", and others. The latter type includes "to light the candle of Shabbat/Yom-Tov/Chanuka","to dwell in the sukka", "to affix a mezuza" "to be engrossed in the words of the Torah",and others.

Each example could have been composed in the other format - "to eat matza", "to count the Omer", "on candle-lighting", "on the mitzva of sukka" - but was not. In fact, there are disputes recorded in the Talmud concerning the format of some of the brachot for mitzvot. But we have the brachot as they are, and we may not alterthe form of a bracha.

Is there rhyme & reason for the choice of the noun form of the bracha vs. the infinitive form? The answer is "yes", but the reasons are not clear.

There are several suggestions drawn from various sources. What follows is one idea for the choice of bracha form, which seems to fit most (but not all) cases.

There are some mitzvot which we actively perform from beginning to end. On Seder night, we are commanded to eat matza. We take at least the minimum required amount into our hand, make the brachot, and eat the matza (within a certain time range), thus completely fulfilling the mitzva by our act. We are required to read MegilatEsther (twice) on Purim. Before beginning the mitzva, we recite the brachot, then we read the entire megila, thus completing the mitzva. On each night between Pesach and Shavuot, we recite a bracha and then fulfill the mitzva to count the Omer. In the first case, the mitzva was fulfilled in a few minutes. In the secondcase it took 40 minutes or more, and in the third case it took a few seconds. But in all three cases (and similar situations), the mitzva was completed by us. These kind of mitzvot get the noun form of bracha - "on the performance of...".

With other mitzvot, we begin to fulfill the mitzva or set something in motion, but do not complete the mitzva at the time of our first mitzva-act. We are commanded to light up our homes on Friday night. We set this mitzva into motion by the act of kindling the Shabbat candles (actually before Shabbat, that is before thetime-frame of the mitzva), but we do not complete the mitzva. The candles will continue to burn, on their own, well past the time of our performance of the mitzva. Similarly, we affix the mezuza to our doorpost, thus beginning the mitzva which continues as long as we live in our home. In a different sense, when we enterthe sukka on the first night of the Chag, we perform the mitzva to dwell in the sukka, but we do not complete the mitzva. Eat the meal, remain for hours thereafter go to sleep in the sukka - the mitzva is not over. (In contrast with the mitzva of matza - when one eats a first "kazayit", one technically is no longer obligatedto eat matza. The mitzva has been fulfilled.) These type of mitzvot are preceded by brachot of the type "to perform..."

A particularly interesting (and appropriate for this week's sedra) example of both types of brachot is the mitzva of Brit Mila. Immediately before surgically removing the foreskin, the Mohel (as the father's agent) recites the bracha "...on the circumcision". This aspect of the mitzva is performed and completed by the Mohelin a matter of seconds. As soon as the Mohel completes his bracha, the father of the baby recites the bracha "...to enter him (the baby) into the covenant of Avraham Avinu".

This bracha relates to "the other" aspect of the mitzva, namely the responsibility and challenge of the parents to raise their child in a proper Jewish way. This is an open-ended task which is initiated at the brit (so to speak) but continues well beyond. This bracha therefore is in the infinitive form.

Note also that the father retains this bracha (and of course this aspect of the mitzva) even though he delegated the "physical part" of the mitzva to a professional.

Perhaps this second bracha can also explain why Brit Mila is counted as a mitzva from Parshat Lech Lecha and not from Tazria. It would be technically more correct to credit the reference in Tazria as the source for the mitzva. There it speaks of G-d commanding Moshe to command the People... "and on the eighth day you shall circumcise... " Here in Lech Lecha, reference to the mitzva is more anecdotal. Yet in Tazria only the physical, first aspect of the mitzva is addressed. In Lech Lecha the complete significance of Mila is presented. G-d asks Avraham to "walk before Me and be Tamim". It is important to note that reference to Avraham Avinuat a brit is not made in the form of a "Yehi Ratzon" or a "Hineni Muchan", but is an integral part of the brachot for the mitzva. The mitzva of Mila, "the covenant of Abraham", is essential to the spiritual continuity of the People as is its predecessor-mitzva, "be fruitful and multiply" to their physical perpetuation.

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