Feature Tidbit Don't Just Cry - Do Something! My brothers and I have been saying Kaddish and mourning continuously for almost 16 months now - first for our mother a"h and then for our father z"l, with a 2-3 month overlap. Having sat Shiva twice in so short a time, we have become more acquainted with the laws and customs of mourning than we would like to be. I have always been aware of the comparisons and contrasts between personal mourning and national mourning, but being an Aveil for one parent and then the other during Sfirat HaOmer and the Three Weeks and Nine Days brings the two types of mourning into much sharper focus. Comparisons run in the direction of - you can't do this on Tish'a b'Av, just like a mourner in Shiva. Shloshim is like certain aspects of the Nine Days, etc. One cannot help make those comparisons. There is a well-known contrast between personal and national mourning that deals with the progression of heavy to light and vice versa. For one mourning the loss of a parent, the day of the burial is the most intense, then come the first three days of Shiva, the rest of Shiva, then Shloshim. The mourning is still there, but time has begun its healing process and there is a marked lightening of mourning throughout the 11 months of Kaddish and the 12 months of Aveilut. The process is reversed for national mourning. The Three Weeks have some restrictions (not even all communities observe them) which are increased as the month of Av enters. The Nine Days are much more severe than the Three Weeks. The mourning practices (and the feelings that accompany them) intensify in the week in which Tish'a b'Av fall. Still more on Erev Tish'a b'Av, and most severe on Tiash'a b'Av itself. Since all of the above has been introductory to the message I want to share with you, I will not here explain the significance of the just-described contrast. And here is my point, almost. My nominee for the strongest difference between personal and national mourning is "what we can or cannot do about it". When a loved one dies, R"L, there is an immediate and constant feeling of helplessness. We know/believe in the World-to-Come, in T'chiyat HaMeitim, in the fact that one's parents are not suffering anymore, etc. We take comfort from these things, but we cannot do anything about the deaths. This makes personal mourning very different from national mourning. Because we CAN and MUST do something, in addition to mourn. We have it within our power and abilities to hasten the coming of Mashiach, to improve the spiritual status of Klal Yisrael to the point where G-d will say - enough. And I believe that in a significant- but limited - way, He's waiting for us to do these things. What are they? Simple. Let me put it this way. I have often written and spoke about G-d's Plan for Bnei Yisrael. The first part was to take us out of Egypt. Done. Then He was to give us the Torah and bring us into Eretz Yisrael, to live the Torah in its intended habitat. Incurring G-d's anger and being punished with exile as a nation, comes from our shortcoming in the acceptance of one or the other of G-d's gifts to us. Plainly put, Tish'a b'Av exists as it does today because we turn away from Torah and Mitzvot, and/or because we reject Eretz Yisrael. The Meraglim did it and they panickeda whole generation to do the same. The majority of the Jews did it again when Ezra called for the return to Eretz Yisrael. Jews do it today when they eliminate Aliya from their agenda. (As I've said many times, I'm not referring to people who want to come to live in Israel but "cannot" for various reasons. I'm talkingabout the people who have no yearning, no desire for Eretz Yisrael. There is plenty to be done to reintroduce Torah and Mitzvot to alienated Jews. There is plenty to be done in putting Israel on the active agenda of Diaspora Jewry. And I don't mean another Bonds drive. That's what Reuven and Gad offered (they actuallyoffered more). Not enough. And missing the point. An individual mourner not only says Kaddish and leads the davening and sometimes gets Maftir, but he must also learn more Torah, give more Tzedaka, perform more Chesed, improve his Midot. This serves as a benefit to the Souls of the departed as well as making strides in a self-improvement program. How much more so on a communal level. How much room there is for growth and improvement throughout the Jewish world. The more Jews that are committed to Torah, the more Jews that are committed to Eretz Yisrael, the more Jews improve in their interpersonal behavior, the sooner Tish'a b'Av becomes a joyous celebration ofthe building of the Beit HaMikdash, b.b.a. [The Devarim Homepage]
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