The commentaries find perplexing the combination of these two reasons for banning these nations from the Jewish people forever.
Why does the Torah first list the seemingly lesser of these two evils?
Furthermore, how can the Torah hold Amon and Moav accountable for not extending their land and hospitality to Klal Yisrael, who was, at the time, their arch-enemy?
To understand the severity of Amon and Moav's action, the Ramban points out, one must remember that they owed an enormous debt of gratitude to the Jewish nation. Only through the merit of Avraham Avinu did Lot and his two daughters-- the mothers of Amon and Moav --escape the total destruction of Sodom and Amora. Amon and Moav owed their very existence to our Patriarch, Avraham, and hence, to his descendants.
Amon and Moav were obligated to recognize and appreciate their legacy. By not extending the most common decency, by not providing bread and water to starving men, woman and children, people to whom they owed their lives, they revealed their essence; they were consumate ingrates.
Their character trait of ungratefulness must be rejected and never be integrated into the Jewish nation.
Hatred, even attempts at annihilation, can eventually be eradicated. But ingratitude is a character flaw in wicked people which can rarely be altered.
When Avraham Avinu was charting the destiny of the Jewish people, he sent his emissary, Eliezer, to his own family to find an appropriate match for his son, Yitzchak. The reason, explains Rav Avraham Pam, shlit"a, is because midos tovos, good character, is inherited through family.
Given the proper atmosphere and education, philosophical errors and lack of commitment can be reversed. However, good midos-- such as hakaras hatov, recognizing acts of kindness are an integral part of one's soul.
In preparation for the High Holy Days, let us try to develop this outstanding midah of hakaras hatov, which will bring us closer to our fellow men and to Hashem.
Rabbi Eisen is Rabbi of Congregation Bnai Israel of Midwood, Brooklyn, N.Y.
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