Parshat Kedoshim (and Rosh Chodesh)
May 2nd-3rd, 2003
30 Nisan-1 Iyar, 5763

Have a look in this week’s parsha, and you will find what must surely be the most famous verse in the whole Torah.

Quoted favorably (if not always observed) by people of all cultures and creeds, it was celebrated as the root of Jewish ethics by our own great sage, Rabbi Akiva. All of us have heard the famous words since kindergarten, if not before, though chances are that many of us (myself included) have not expended much energy figuring out what they really mean.

Enough introduction, ladies and gentlemen. I proudly present to you the following commandment of the Torah, taken from Leviticus 19, 18, as it is usually (and we’ll see, misleadingly) translated. [Drum roll, please!] "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." [Wild applause, flashbulbs popping.]

Now that the fanfare is out of the way, let’s place this verse--really, part of a verse-- in the proper context. It was taught by Moshe to an assembly of ALL the Jewish people together--a departure from the usual procedure by which he taught them the Torah in the desert--, along with numerous commandments relating to our interpersonal conduct. (They include admonitions against all types of theft, extortion, and business deception, and against speaking gossip…among many more.) The gathering commenced with the general directive, "Be holy," kedoshim t’hiyu, a signal of the central importance of this section of the Torah, inasmuch as the concept of "holiness" hearkens back to our original acceptance of the Covenant at Sinai, and our very mission as a people. ("And now," G-d says, "if you hearken well to Me and observe My covenant…you shall be to Me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.") Some commentators explain that after having been given, in the preceding portions of Leviticus, the commandment to bring holiness into our marital lives (through observing the laws of sexual morality) and into our dietary habits (through observing the laws of kashrus), the Jewish people are now commanded to bring holiness into the social and commercial realm.

Rashi quotes the rabbinical teaching that this section of the Torah was taught en masse to the Jewish people because it contains (in encapsulated form) the majority of the fundamental principles of the Torah. (Other commentators point out that all of the 10 Commandments are alluded to here as well.) In the words of Rabbi Eli Munk, in his beautiful anthology, The Call of the Torah, this parsha "represents the climax of Torah legislation…[and] a beacon which sends rays of the holiness-ideal over the whole panorama of human existence."

So, loving your neighbor as yourself, has some pretty distinguished company in the form of the other lofty ideals communicated in this portion. Or, put another way, it articulates a beautiful general perspective on relating to our fellow man, while surrounding it are some (very important) details on how to carry that out in our specific behaviors.

Now it’s time to clarify the real meaning of the words in the Hebrew, though I anticipate some of you might be a bit let down at first. (I do hope that’s only temporary, but in any case, we can’t pervert the meaning of our Torah to suit our preconceived notions.) The full verse is as follows: "Do not take revenge, and do not bear a grudge against the members of your people; you shall love your fellow [or, close companion—reacha, in Hebrew] as yourself—I am Hashem." (Leviticus: 19, 18; my emphasis)

It does not say, "your neighbor" (which is shachen, in Hebrew), but rather, "your companion," or "your fellow" (re’ah). The specific commandment is to love your fellow Jew as you love yourself, i.e., the one who is your close companion in keeping the Torah, as is quite clear from the context. The verse is talking about how we are to act and feel towards our people.

Now before you good-hearted, humanity-loving folks start hurling tomatoes at me (or drowning me with indignant e-mails), let me explain. The fact that G-d gave us, in this verse, a specific commandment to love our fellow Jews in no way implies (Heaven forbid!) that we are supposed to hate non-Jews! It is our Torah, remember, that taught the world that all human beings are created in the image of the one G-d, and that we are all descendants of one couple. We are enjoined in countless places, both in Scripture and in the Oral Tradition, to treat all people with respect, to work together with our gentile neighbors in peace and harmony to achieve stability in our societies. (Evildoers, and those who have outwardly shown themselves to be enemies of our people, are obviously an exception.)

We are commanded to exemplify the high ethical ideals of our Torah in all of our dealings with all people, both fellow Jews and non-Jews, so that we can make G-d (and the Torah) beloved in their eyes, and be a kiddush Hashem—sanctifying the Name of the Almighty. What’s more, many of our holy leaders have even spoken of our obligation to love all of G-d’s Creation! The stories told of our righteous men and women throughout the ages prove unmistakably that they were a blessing to all mankind, and extended themselves to help all in need.

So it’s not an issue of some xenophobic or tribal directive to treat our own group (i.e., our fellow Jews) with favor, and look down or denigrate the rest of mankind. The point is only that this particular commandment, Leviticus 19, 18, does not tell us to love our neighbor as ourselves, but to love our fellow Jews as ourselves. To me, it makes perfect sense. The Torah first and foremost wants to make sure that we first love each other (ha’levai, if only we could reach that level!!!!), because the Torah wants us to realize that am yisrael, the Jewish people, is one body. If we Jews are to function as a "light unto the nations," and carry out our Torah as G-d desires, we have to be joined in bonds of love and fellowship. We cannot fully function as Jews unless we love each other. At the same time, of course, we respect and work with and promote the well-being of our neighbors.

Or, if you prefer: Love all mankind, by all means, if you can, but at least love your fellow Jew…your extended family.

Okay, we have to move on. (Call me if you want to discuss that point further.) What does it mean to love our fellow Jews as ourselves?

Does it mean I should give up everything I own to make them happy? Certainly not. That would be loving them MORE than I love myself, and treating their legitimate needs as important to the exclusion of my own legitimate needs. The Torah does not tell us to abandon our own possessions, even though it commands us to give a portion of our earnings to charity. Nor, by the way, does Judaism glorify poverty whatsoever, for we look at wealth (honestly gained) as a blessing from G-d, to be used in His service by doing mitzvos. (Our Sages were, however, well aware of the dangers of losing sight of our purpose in life if we let the excessive enjoyment of wealth and luxuries consume us.)

Does loving my fellow Jew as myself mean I have to feel the exact degree of emotional closeness to another Jew as I feel towards myself?

Nachmanidies (Ramban), the great medieval commentator, sees that as an unrealistic demand to make on a person. He beautifully explains that we’re not talking primarily about a feeling of emotional closeness here (though that is desirable), but a mode of action and behavior with regard to our fellow Jew. This is hinted at in the verse, which literally says, "love to your close companion as yourself" (with the prefix, lamed). In other words, the great regard you (emotionally) feel for yourself you should SHOW TO your fellow Jew! Just as you take care of your property, and seek your own interests, so should you take care of the property of your fellow Jew and seek his interests. And this will develop a feeling of emotional closeness as well, so that one day you will truly WANT the same good things for your fellow Jew that you WANT for yourself.

And not a bit less, stresses the Ramban. We still are not fulfilling this commandment properly if we wish our fellow Jew wealth, for instance…but we still want to be a bit MORE wealthy than he! If we wish him all good things…but we still want to save the very BEST things for ourselves! No, the ahavah, the love, that is the ultimate goal of this commandment is a love that sets no limits, just as we set no limits with regard to ourselves and our own hopes and ambitions. The goal: I truly want for him (or her) the same degree of good and blessing I want for myself.

Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler, zt’l, brilliantly expands on this approach, revealing to us the great psychological insight of the Torah. (That is to say, of the One Who created us!!) For this commandment calls on us to use our inborn egotism, not to throw it away, to sanctify it so that we become less selfish human beings. How so? "Love your fellow Jew as yourself." Think, he says, of all the detailed ways you show your own love and regard and concern for yourself. And then strive to show that same degree of sensitivity, in all particulars, to your fellow Jew.

Love yourself, by all means, and understand just what that entails, for each of us is deserving of love, having been created in the image of Hashem (Who loves each one of us). But lest that turn into egotism, we are commanded to show that love to our fellow Jews to the same extent.

As many have pointed out, if we don’t love ourselves, in a healthy sense, then we can’t properly fulfill this mitzvah.

This is a commandment, then, that requires constant thought and effort, both cognition and imagination. To work towards the level of seeing my fellow Jew (and, beyond, to seeing all of mankind) as like myself, as connected to me. Rav Dessler famously writes (in another place) that the way we grow to feel more connected to another human being is by giving. Indeed, he points out, the word ahavah (love, in Hebrew) contains the root, hav, which means to give. We arrive at love by a constant, and non-negotiable, commitment to giving.

I hope that we all really stop to think about what it means to love ourselves, and then begin (or continue) to extend that--in thought, action and emotion--to our fellow Jews, who truly are our immediate family. (Rabbi Avigdor Miller, zt’l, used to say that it is too hard to jump right away to loving everybody. Start with one fellow Jew, and work on loving him/her properly first!) If we do this, then we will be on our way to becoming a blessing for all mankind.

GOOD SHABBOS.

My e-mail address is yosefe@comcast.net

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