Parshas Toldos
November 20th-21st, 1998
2 Kislev, 5759

"Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebecca, daughter of Bethuel the Aramean from Paddan Aram, sister of Laban the Aramean, as a wife for himself.  Isaac entreated Hashem opposite his wife, because she was barren.  Hashem allowed Himself to be entreated by him, and his wife Rebecca conceived."  (25, 20-21; Artscroll Chumash)

The first verse quoted above seems to repeat information we already know about Yitzhak's wife, Rivka: who her father and brother were, the name of her hometown. That's strange: we've all heard that the Torah (unlike, say, some parsha sheet purveyors) never allows itself to state what's superfluous.   

If we want, we can just say the Torah is encapsulating some basic facts relating to the parents -- Yitzhak and Rivka -- before taking up the main subject of the whole parsha, the birth and development of their offspring (toldos), Ya'akov and Esav.  Sounds like a plausible enough possibility ... though whether it could stand up to hours of intense questioning from the House Judiciary Committee is not certain.

In any case, our Sages have taught us that this modest little verse is, in fact, revealing to us the great righteousness of our matriarch, Rivka.  Daughter of Bethuel the Aramean, from Paddan Aram, sister of Laban the Aramean.  Paraphrasing the Midrash Rabbah, Rashi comments: "Has it not already been written that she was the daughter of Bethuel and the sister of Laban from Padan Aram?  Rather, [the Torah states this information] to tell her praise--that she was the daughter of a wicked person, and the sister of a wicked person and her place [was one] of wicked people, but she didn't learn from their actions." [Italics mine]

Now, our tendency in learning Torah is to rush on blindly to the next idea: "Very nice, she didn't learn from their wickedness...Veiter! [A yiddish word used frequently in yeshivos, meaning "further," i.e. Onward!  Gidde'up!]"  Since the Torah is quite large, and there's a lot of great sights to see, it's not a bad impulse to want to keep moving.  On the other hand, to more deeply understand Torah ideas--not to mention, internalize them--requires a more leisurely pace of travel that allows for investigation ... and meditation.  As one of my great  teachers, Rabbi Beryl Gershenfeld, was fond of saying, a statement of our Sages needs time to percolate inside of us.  (And he told us that Rabbi Yerucham Levovitz, zt'l, one of the premier 20th- century expositors of the ethical statements of our Sages would not lecture on such a teaching until he had "lived with it" constantly for a period of time...six months, I believe he said!)

So let's pause, and let this idea percolate.  (If you suddenly crave Starbuck's, I perfectly understand.)  Daughter of Bethuel...from Padan Aram, sister of Lavan.   Rivka was completely surrounded by wicked people, yet she didn't learn from their actions.

As the Gur Aryeh--a famous analysis of Rashi's commentary on the Torah, by the Maharal of Prague -- explains, we might have thought that since Rivkah was a young girl when she left her parents' house to marry Yitzhak (see the first Rashi on verse 20), she had not yet attained the intellectual maturity "to learn evil."  To disabuse us of just this notion, the Torah repeats to us the details of her background for the purpose of teaching us that she had the capacity to be influenced negatively by her surroundings ... but she wasn't.

He goes on to write that there are three basic reasons a person is drawn after evil actions like idolatry.  First, he may fear a certain individual and, therefore, feel compelled to follow that person's behavior--Daddy's doing it.  On the other hand, he may be led to an action from the feeling of love he has for the person doing it--Brother's doing it.  Lastly, he may be swayed by the custom of society--Everybody's doing it!   Although Rivkah was subjected to all of these powerful pressures, as the verse hints to us (she grew up in a home and society of idol worshippers and swindlers), she remained pure.

Rabbi Levovitz, the great Percolator mentioned above, wonders: if the Torah wanted to go out of its way to praise Rivkah, couldn't it have found some other appropriate praise for her?  "It would seem, though," he concludes, "that this suffices, specifically since these three things together surrounded her--daughter of a wicked person, sister of a wicked person, and a place of wicked people--and she didn't learn from their actions.  This is certainly a wonder..." (Da'as Torah I, p. 62)

A wonder!  How powerful the effects of our surroundings on ourselves. (And how rarely in our daily lives do we stop to contemplate this fact.)  Not just on what we do, of course, but on everything we think as well.  As Maimonidies notes at the start of Chapter Six of Hilchos Deos (Laws of Moral Dispositions), "It is natural to be influenced, in sentiments and conduct, by one's neighbors and associates, and observe the customs of one's fellow citizens." (Translation by Twersky, A Maimonidies Reader, p. 59)  It is human nature, Rambam is telling us, to be shaped by those around us.   It's not easy--not natural, we should say--to buck the crowd.  

Based on this foundation, Rambam goes on in that chapter to discuss our resulting obligation to associate with people who are righteous and wise.  Since we're swayed by the company we keep, it's a mitzvah to be in the company of the wise (and not wise guys!) as much as possible.  Not to hear their learned discourses per se, but "to learn from their practices."  We must move to another country if need be, Rambam tells us, to flee wickedness.  If that is not practicable, if all countries do not follow the right way ("as is the case in our times," he writes!), he should keep to himself and not mix with others.  And if they won't let him do this, but insist that he join in their wickedness, "let him withdraw to caves, thickets, or deserts..."

These words of the Rambam might strike us as a bit odd.  If so, we  shouldn't be surprised.  It just goes to prove the point he began with!  We have been so affected by our surroundings, the society in which we live--with its irony and cynicism and materialism--that righteousness doesn't seem so precious a goal to strive for...nor wickedness so repulsive a companion to flee from.

Our forefathers were different in this regard.  Starting with Avraham, who stood alone in opposing the wicked behavior and wrong ideas of his contemporaries.  The word Hebrew, Ivri, comes from the word, "across."  In relation to Canaan and Egypt, Abraham came from across the river Euphrates (see Rashi on Bereishis 39, 14).   A deeper meaning of that appellation, however, is pointed out by different commentators: Abraham stood across from, opposite...the whole world.  To oppose wickedness alone, if need be--that's our heritage as Jews.

There's no greater praise the Torah can say about Rivkah than this. Daughter of Bethuel the Aramean from Padan Aram, sister of Laban the Aramean.  

May we all find the strength to walk in her footsteps.  

GOOD SHABBOS!!!

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Rabbi Yosef Edelstein is Director of the Savannah Torah Education Project (STEP). Phone: 912-355-0157;
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