Parshat Chayei Sara - 5764

“...to eulogize Sarah and to weep for her.” (Bereshit 23:2)

Parashat Chaye Sarah opens with the departure of our Mother Sarah from this world, and with Avraham’s reaction to it. The Torah says (Bereshit 23:2), “Sarah died in Kiryat-Arba which is Hebron in the Land of Canaan; and Avraham came to eulogize Sarah and to weep for her.” The Hebrew word describing his weeping for her is “livcota,” and the “Chof” in that word is reduced in size. That reduction has prompted numerous attempts to explain the small “Chof.” One of these is by Rabbi Shamshon Rephoel Hirsch, who wrote “The word ‘livcota’ is written with a small ‘Chof’ to suggest that the full extent of his weeping was kept private. His grief was infinite, but the full measure of his pain was concealed in his heart and the privacy of his home.”

I would like to suggest another idea, which may be only an absurd speculation. In Parashat Bereshit (2:7), we find “...and Adam became a living being.” Targum Onkelos there renders “a living being” as a “living creature endowed with speech.” Rashi’s commentary there also opens with a question: “The cattle and the beasts were also called ‘living beings!’ ” but he answers, “this creature was more alive than all the rest, for there was added to him intelligence and speech.’ ”

The human being seems to be the only creature in G-d’s world that has the ability to weep. And that capability seems to be related to the faculty of speech. The verse says, “...and Avraham came to eulogize Sarah and to weep for her.” Avraham’s weeping is the first instance of the response of weeping to the loss of a loved one recorded in the Bible. Perhaps it was the first instance of an adult weeping. And perhaps the bond between Avraham and Sarah was the first instance of great love and great loss in human history. Avraham was surprised when the tears welled up within him, and just perhaps, that may explain the small “Chof.” This is also the first reference to “hesped,” eulogy, mournful speech recalling the life of a beloved human being.

The connection between the human voice and weeping is also made evident in the verse that describes Esav’s reaction to Yaakov’s taking of his blessing at the behest of his mother Rivkah, who differed with her husband, according to the plain meaning of the Text, on the merits of their sons: “...And Esav raised his voice and wept” (Bereshit 27:28). Midrash Tanchuma says with regard to this, “Esav produced but a few tears... But see how much peace and tranquility G-d bestowed upon Esav for those tears!” And the Zohar adds “...we shall remain under Esav’s power until we repent and shed tears that will outweigh his.”

King David also knew the power of human tears. He prayed to HaShem, “...put Thou my tears into Your flask.” (Tehilim 56:9) That verse is the basis of a stanza in a “Selichah” (Penitential) Prayer in the “Neilah” (“Closing of the Gates” Prayer) offered at the approach of sundown on Yom Kippur:

“May it be Your Will, You Who hears the sound of weeping,
That You place our tears in Your flask permanently...”

And, in the previous stanza, we find another reference to tears:

“I have placed my reliance on the Thirteen Attributes,
And on the Gates of Tears, that are never closed.”

There are references in Kohelet that may clarify for us the nature of weeping, by contrasting it with its opposite:

“There is a time to weep and a time to laugh” (Kohelet 3:4),
where laughter is another gift from HaShem to the human race.

And a similar reference to “hesped,” mournful speech:
“a time to mourn and a time to dance.”

Paradoxically, tears and weeping are also associated with the emotion of joy, as we see where the Torah describes the reunion of Yosef with his father (Bereshit 46:29), “...He appeared before him, fell on his neck, and he wept copiously on his neck.” And the earlier reunions with his brothers (Bereshit 45:15), “He then kissed all of his brothers, and wept upon them...” and, when he met his beloved brother, Binyamin (Bereshit 45:14), “Then he fell upon his brother Binyamin’s neck and wept, and Binyamin wept upon his neck.”

And, as we know, from our own reactions at weddings, when Chatan and Kallah walk down the aisle, tears of joy have, upon occasion, welled up in our eyes.

In Sefer Yirmiyahu (31:14-16), we find a prophecy that the tears of Rachel Imenu will be the stimulus that will cause HaShem to bring about our Redemption, “Thus said HaShem, ‘A voice was heard in Ramah, lamentation and bitter weeping; Rachel, weeping for her children, refused to be comforted for her children, because they were not there.’ Thus said HaShem, ‘Restrain your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears; for your work will be rewarded, says HaShem; and they shall return from the land of their enemy. And there is hope in your destiny, says the L-rd, that your children shall return to their own borders.’ ”

Yeshayahu HaNavi foresees a time that HaShem will cause death to disappear as a hard fact of human life (25:8); “He will destroy death forever; and the L-rd G-d will wipe away tears from off all faces...”

But tears of joy will remain (Yeshayahu 25:9), “And it shall be on that day, Behold this is our G-d! We have placed our hope in Him that He would save us; this is the L-rd; we have waited for Him; we will be glad and rejoice in His Salvation.”

Rabbi Pinchas Frankel
Rabbi Frankel is an Educational Coordinator at the OU

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