November, 2005

It’s Not Football, but Sabbath Observance, as OU Brings Friday Night Lights Program to Long Island Teens

To many, the term “Friday night lights” conveys Texas high school football, from the popular book and movie of the same name. But for some high school students on Long Island these days, “Friday Night Lights” is coming to mean a Sabbath experience – including candles – filled with food, fun and entertainment. Reflecting the glow of those lights, the impression is growing that, as one teen participant said, “I didn’t realize you can be observant and be cool.”

The Long Island Region of the National Conference of Synagogue Youth (NCSY), the Orthodox Union’s national youth program, recently inaugurated a “Friday Night Lights” (FNL) program in Nassau and Suffolk counties, to deal with the reality that the vast majority of Jewish teens on Long Island have little or no formal connection with Jewish organizations.

The first program took place last Friday night and Saturday in North Bellmore, as a joint effort of the Young Israel of North Bellmore, an Orthodox synagogue, and Temple Beth El, a Conservative synagogue, and their respective rabbis. It was dedicated in memory of Harold Nierenberg, a founding member of the North Bellmore community who passed away this year just before the High Holidays.

Other FNL programs are being planned in Nassau and Suffolk Counties in the near future.

NCSY brings FNL to Long Island following a similar successful program in its Upper New York State Region, covering Schenectady, Syracuse, Albany, Buffalo, Rochester, Binghamton, and Ellenville and South Fallsburg in the Catskills. In the Long Island program, NCSY advisors -- students from Yeshiva University and its women’s division Stern College, as well as from Columbia and NYU -- interact with teens in the synagogue, at Sabbath meals, and in post-Sabbath social events. The results have been excellent upstate; Long Island presents its own set of challenges.

Charlie Harary, NCSY Long Island Youth Commission Chairman, notes that “Long Island, especially areas like the Five Towns, with its numerous Jewish schools, synagogues and communal institutions, can create a deceptive picture of general Jewish commitment. But unfortunately, many Jews on Long Island lack a strong connection to Judaism and to Jewish institutions.”

According to the UJA-Federation of New York’s 2002 Jewish Community Study of New York, Nassau County is home to almost a quarter of a million Jews, more than reside in the entire city of Philadelphia. However, 44 percent of Nassau County Jewish households do not belong to a synagogue, and 73 percent of Jewish teens in Nassau receive no Jewish day school education. One out of five currently married couples in Nassau is intermarried, with the number increasing to one out of three for those who married since 1990.

And of particular interest to the FNL program, while 53 percent of the general U.S. Jewish population lights candles on Friday night to usher in the Sabbath, only 29 percent of Nassau County Jews do so.

Surely, there is much work ahead on Long Island for NCSY to get those candles lit. “This effort will take place in the communities themselves, which is the modus operandi of FNL,” said Rabbi Steve Burg, National Director of NCSY.

“We are not asking them to come to us. We are going to go out to the teens,” declared Rabbi Stephen Berger, the new Director of Long Island NCSY, who achieved great success in the Bay Area of Northern California before taking over the Cedarhurst-based Long Island Region in September. “The college students we send out will bring their own individual passion and energy, as well as great food and fun, to the teens and to their communities as well.”

As a result, FNL sent seven leaders to North Bellmore Friday night, to work with Rabbi Dov Schreier, Rabbi of the local Young Israel, who is also a member of the staff of OU’s Kosher Division. Rabbi Schreier was aware that the Beth El conservative synagogue had a monthly Friday night dinner and Oneg Shabbat which many young people attended. Therefore, after Friday night services at the Young Israel, in which the advisors participated in a “Carlebach Minyan” (featuring the melodies of the late, renowned rabbi noted for the spirituality of his music), the advisors, joined by Young Israel members, took the short walk to Temple Beth El. There they joined a group under the leadership of Rabbi Harvey Goldsheider for a festive dinner that also included adults, with a total attendance of close to 200.

“During dessert,” reports Yitz Novak, the FNL head boy’s advisor, “the FNL team assembled a small group of kids and adults and started singing Shabbat songs. Slowly, the songs built up with more and more joining in, and the singing lasted 45 minutes. Then there was dancing, with girls and boys in their respective circles, separated by a mechitza.”

Saturday afternoon, a group of 25 assembled by the FNL advisors visited Rabbi Schreier’s home for lunch, and after a return to the synagogue, went bowling Saturday night, then enjoyed pizza in Rabbi Schreier’s house before leaving for their own homes nearby.

The shared meal at a Conservative synagogue with an Orthodox delegation in attendance was recognition that the community recognizes the challenges it faces. Beth El did everything required to accommodate Orthodox practice and standards, Rabbi Schreier reports. “This was cooperation between two shuls to spread Judaism and Sabbath observance,” he said. In an email to the NCSY advisors, Rabbi Schreier wrote, “I want to thank all of you for creating an incredible Shabbos experience in our community and making an unbelievable Kiddush Hashem (Sanctification of the Divine Name) at the Friday night meal.”

Even as NCSY’s Long Island Region plans FNL programs in Nassau and Suffolk, it is arranging a return to North Bellmore on a monthly basis. “A one-time program will not work, as great as the enthusiasm was,” explained Rabbi Berger, NCSY’s Long Island Director. “We plan to come back every month to each of the communities, to reinforce relationships and what was achieved the previous visit, and to extend the Shabbos experience to a larger and larger group, as news of FNL spreads by word of mouth, instant messenger, cell phones, and all the techniques used by teens to communicate.”

Word does spread quickly, among the young, and among rabbis as well. By Sunday, Rabbi Berger was getting calls from colleagues beyond Long Island who are asking for the program for their communities, to duplicate the North Bellmore experience.

Meanwhile, there is already an impressive beginning to build on in North Bellmore, and the growing sense that coolness and observance go hand in hand.

For more information or for dedications information, contact FNL Program Director Rina Emerson at 516-569-6279, or email info@fridaynightlightsorg.

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The Orthodox Union, now in its second century of service to the Jewish community of North America and beyond, is a world leader in community and synagogue services, adult education, youth work through NCSY, political action through the IPA, and advocacy for persons with disabilities through Yachad and Our Way. Its kosher supervision label, the , is the world’s most recognized kosher symbol and can be found on over 409,000 products manufactured in 83 countries around the globe.

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