Ask Aviva

Aviva Rizel is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice in Cedarhurst, NY. She specializes in couples therapy using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a scientifically sound model that has transformed relationships around the world at rapid pace. To find out more about EFT, check out To reach Aviva, call 347-292-8482 or email

Ask Aviva: Doubtful Dad

November 13, 2014, by

Dear Aviva, My son’s pediatrician diagnosed him with ADHD and I don’t know if I should medicate him or not. I really don’t want to but he is out of hand at home (better in school though). My wife is refusing. What are our options? -Doubtful Dad Dear Doubtful Dad, To officially be diagnosed as

Ask Aviva: Job Jumping

November 6, 2014, by

Dear Aviva, I read your article from last week, “Kid in College,” and have a similar problem. I graduated from vocational school and am 25 years old. I have had three jobs, but I have found that at each one there were people I worked with who made my life miserable. Each time it felt

Ask Aviva: Kid in College

October 29, 2014, by

Dear Aviva, I am a junior in college and feel like I am going to fail at life. I am not ready to be a grad and to start living life as an adult. I know I am not ready. Does this mean I am certain to fail at life? -Kid in College Dear Kid

Ask Aviva: The Duped Parents

October 23, 2014, by

Dear Aviva, We have a darling son, age 6, who is so bright, articulate, and generally adorable. The problem is that he thinks he rules the roost. He thinks he is IN CHARGE, and I am fairly certain he can take down any hardcore lawyer with the way he can negotiate. He needs things to

Ask Aviva: Don’t Wanna be Drugged

October 1, 2014, by

Dear Aviva, I was prescribed some anti-depressant medication after having recent bouts of depression. I am hesitant to fill my prescription though, due to a number of reasons. I feel that there is still a stigma with taking drugs for mental illness and if people were to find out, they would regard me differently. Secondly,

Ask Aviva: Nervous and Nostalgic

September 23, 2014, by

Dear Aviva, As the Days of Awe are fast approaching, my mind keeps wandering back to when I was a child celebrating these holidays. When I was younger, I enjoyed the holidays so much—the crisp fall days, crunching of the leaves on the walk to shul, hearing the shofar blasts, and dipping the apple in

Ask Aviva: Feet Firmly Planted in Place

September 16, 2014, by

Dear Aviva, My husband might have to move for his law firm job in order to move up the career ladder. It would be a huge step up in his career and a big boost to his ego. However, I have planted our roots in our wonderful community of where we are now and the

Ask Aviva: Tamed Tween

September 3, 2014, by

Dear Aviva, I am 12 years old, the oldest kid in my family, and my parents are really strict and overprotective. They do not let me do anything my friends are doing. It’s so annoying because they never let me do what my friends do and they’ve always said that when I am older I

Ask Aviva: Dater with Disabilities

August 28, 2014, by

Hi Aviva, I am a 24 year-old girl on the shidduch scene. I’ve got all the great qualities, bli ayin hara (smart, pretty, funny, Torah-valued) except for the unfortunate fact that I have a very visible physical disability [specific disability not mentioned to protect the anonymity of the writer]. It isn’t something that will prevent

Ask Aviva: Housemate for a Husband

August 20, 2014, by

Dear Aviva, I grew up as part of a large, happy, healthy family and for some reason grew up very needy. My husband is not the gushy type and when he attempted to compliment me the first few times I brushed off the compliments. Since our first year of marriage, I can count the amount