It's rough around here, everyone getting beyond
panicky.... I
drove alone to Hashmonaim for Shabbos and had the children lay down on the
seats during long, isolated stretches.
It was totally surreal, thinking
that my own life was expendable as long as my children remained unharmed
in case of sniper attack. Crazy. I took a long detour on the way back, a
way with which I was totally unfamiliar but certain to be safer. It was
quite winding and dark, but increasingly congested as I got closer to
Jerusalem. Absolutely NO ONE drives the Modiin highway after sunset.
...
Everyone seems to be in the same
boat. Where is it
safe? People gasp when they
hear that I have children learning in Pisgat Zeev and the Rova Yehudi.
Can we therefore explain the slaughter in Hadera, Givat zev and Tel Aviv?
...
With each murder, many of us forget the names of the
previous victims. This, alone, is a foreign feeling for most Israelis.
Knowing that each nefesh is a world unto itself, I grow ashamed at not
remembering the name of a
slain schoolteacher or a father of six from the shtachim. Are we becoming
inured to the carnage or, worse, fickle? Maybe we are becoming as base as
the rest of the world, detached from our neighbors and only momentarily
involved. There but for the grace of God go I becomes a Warhol
moment. Our enemies,
rightfully, scare me. Far
more frightening, however, is what is happening to us as a nation.
Very hard today to keep my students
focused today.
Every 'lull in the action' became another opportunity to vent
frustration, rage and anti-Arab sentiment.
Felt ill-equipped and silly as I steered the venom in the direction
of horrific 'behavior' versus blanket condemnation of a people.... Great debates ensued
between my students regarding the 'effectiveness' of public protest. These
girls are so young but there is a world-weary tone to their talk.
Today I noticed that my son, Netanel, spoke about the government in
a manner way beyond his years. It's
at times like this that I question my decision to live here and wonder
what price my children will be asked to pay.
Please,
please include Am Yisrael in all of your prayers.
If any of you have become derelict in your tefilot, now is the time
to reconnect if only for the sake of our precious home. We are on the
front lines, all of us! If you have ever told your children that Eretz
Yisrael is the Jewish homeland, if you have ever sung the words, 'leshanah
habaah b'yerushalayim' at the end of the seder, don't forget us in your
tefilot! if you thought you
believed in it before, believe in it harder now . . .
Andrea
Siman-tov
Ramot, Jerusalem