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November 06, 2008 Face to Face By Esther Rubenstein 4 Comments
E-Mail This Print This RSS Feed ![]() But it is sometimes the individual among the groups that surprise me, catch me off guard, and become, suddenly, God's messengers. Still. It is the German groups that I have the most difficulty with. The look, the language, sometimes the cultural habits - fill me with a tremendous ambivalence. I like to be behind the counter when they wander into the Gallery. It gives me a sense of emotional space. There's just too much between us. Too many ineffable memories. I am polite and every now and then I smile at someone who seems pleasant; but inside I ask myself - Who knows? Who really knows? What would they have done if they had been an adult during the war? The Friday the group came in, I was not at the register. I stood in a corner of the center room, emptying boxes of tapers, pricing and hanging them on their hooks. An elderly German lady with a cane, lingered near where I worked, seemingly interested in the group of candles to my right. When I moved for a moment to the left, she walked over, pushed the half empty boxes out of her way with her cane, and took my place. "There must be a word in German for Excuse me ..." I muttered as I bent down to gather the boxes out of the way. Suddenly I saw the picture. I was bent down on the floor, she stood above me, with that cane in her hand. I stood up, and walked away. There are just too many collective memories between us. The middle aged lady who came over to me, as I stood behind the register was tall, her hair all gray, though she looked to be in her mid-forties. She held a simple Havdalah candle in her hand. “Excuse me. What are these used for?" she asked gently. I began explaining a bit about the Havdalah service, and the more I told her the more she wanted to know. Finally, satisfied, she smiled. ''I was here a few years ago, and I bought this candle. It was so simple, so... nice.” She paused. “Then many months later, when a group of us went to visit the Jews in a village in Czechoslovakia, I brought it to them.” Her eyes lit up. ”They were very happy! They laughed and laughed. They kept saying, Havdalah, Havdalah!” We were silent for a moment as I tried to absorb what she told me. But she was struggling with her own thoughts. Finally she said, “There was a Jewish cemetery in this village. It was overgrown with weeds, and much, much trash.” Silence. “We...my group and I...we cleaned it up. We cut the grass, and cleared all the dirt out.” She paused. “We swept the graves.” A hundred different thoughts battled simultaneously in my mind. “You mean there were not enough Jewish people in the village to care for it, themselves?” This time I dared to look deeply into her eyes. “No,” she said, and there was nothing but an undenying sadness in her eyes. “The Jews were all dead.” “Yes,” I said, reaching across eons of hate, violence, suffering...and finally... “The Jews were all dead.” I was a little surprised, at myself. What is it inside us that allows us to open up, to look deeply into one person's eyes, to trust one person over the other? What is it that awakens when we know someone is special? I watched as she wandered back into the store to choose candles. She wasn't alive then, I thought. Yet, she had not been afraid to accept her nation's responsibility. In the most painful, intimate of ways. She had cleaned the graves. Most of the German group bought candles, and I only had time to smile distractedly at her as I rang up her candles. But when the counter had cleared, she came over to me, and extended her hand. I took it in mine, and then covered it with my other. Esther Rubenstein is a freelance writer whose great love is to pull stories from her life and heart. She is usually inspired by the city and surrounding country-side of Sefat, where she has lived and raised her family for the last thirty years.
© Orthodox Union - All Rights Reserved. The views expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of the Orthodox Union and its agencies Recent CommentsThank you for this article. I well remember visiting the candle factory three years ago with my wife, son and mother-in-law. My wife and mother-in-law have just returned from a 2-week trip to Germany as guests of the city my mother-in-law left in 1939; her first and undoubtedly only visit back. It turns out she is the only person ever to have written an account of Kristallnacht in Coburg. Norman H. Green posted on 11/06 at 11:17 PM. This article really connected with me. Anne Rubin posted on 11/07 at 10:38 PM. I had a similar experience at Dulles Airport! I had just gotten off the plane from Israel and was wearing a t-shirt that proclaimed where I had been. An elderly lady sat next to me at the baggage claim area while her daughter waited for the luggage. She spoke to me. "Are you Jewish?" she said, in a heavy German accent. When I said yes, she replied, "I am German." She then told me of seeing the horrible destruction of Kristallnacht, as a child of 7 or 8. She didn't understand then why the stores where her family shopped were awash with broken glass. I don't know when she became aware what was going on. But then she looked at me and said, "I would like to apologize." All I could think of saying in reply was, "Thank you." It was a very moving moment, one I will always remember. Susan S. posted on 11/09 at 06:44 PM. Thank you for sharing this. Having grown up in New York City, I have also met people from seemingly every background imaginable. I, myself, am an ethnic mutt. However, I have never, ever felt comfortable around "purebred" Germans. They have almost all been exceptionally nice and those in the generation above mine (middle age) seem to have an apologetic tone forever in their voice when speaking to someone they know to be Jewish. Shoshana Chana posted on 04/21 at 08:02 AM. |
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