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July 31, 2008
From Bear Stearns To Bava Metzia
By Andrew Neff
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The title of this article is “From Bear Stearns to Bava Metzia” but it’s really about some life lessons I’ve picked up over the last few months since my company – that I was with for 20 years and that was in business for 86 years – disappeared in the midst of a financial crisis and panic – making me a “Bear Stearns refugee” but more importantly a “kollel boy”.

I am used to presenting to a financial crowd, so I will use my standard approach in my 25 years on Wall Street and start with my conclusions, and then work back to the beginning. This is the opposite style of most Torah commentaries, but I’m still new at this kollel life.

My conclusions? G-d runs the world. Your prayers are answered so think carefully about what you pray for. Think about your legacy. Every benefit has a cost and every cost has a benefit. Handling tests – it’s easier than you think.

Lesson #1: G-d runs the world

When Bear Stearns collapsed, it shocked the world. It was not the normal course of events. Companies that are in business for 86 years without so much as a losing quarter (except for the last one) don’t go out of business and they don’t go out of business overnight. I have been amazed at the level of fascination with our demise and the circumstances surrounding our last days.

Many people have asked me if I knew or sensed what was happening. Actually, it was just the opposite. We knew we were having a bad year, but we were in cyclical business. We’ve had good years and bad years. In fact, my area – equities – was having a good year and the firm was profitable again – highlighting (we thought) the strength of the business model. Besides, we weren’t going out of business…

But we went out of business. Whose fault was it? Was it our new CEO? Our ex-CEO? The shorts? The press?

I developed a different perspective. Let me digress with a reference to tehillim. The backdrop for the third perek of tehillim is rather unusual. Dovid Hamelech thanks Hashem during the rebellion of Avshalom. As I heard from Rav Yissocher Frand, the normal course of events is not for a son to rebel against the father. Usually it is a political opponent or an aide. But these circumstances – the rebellion by his son Avshalom – were extremely unusual. To Dovid, that was a sign that this rebellion was outside nature, outside teva and that Hashem was watching over him and was involved in Dovid’s life and that G-d runs the world.

What happened to Bear Stearns was outside teva.

Until the demise of Bear Stearns, I knew what my schedule was going to be – more or less – for the next year or so. I was working on projects through the year 2010. I was firmly in control and I knew what the future would be.

But it wasn’t to be. I learned that I was not in control. For many of us, we went through – l’havdil (if you can compare) – many of the signs associated with shiva. We were in denial, we were angry, we were depressed. Finally, we began to accept our situation.

I, too, went through these stages. I was in denial. I was angry. I was depressed. Because I was not in control.

I’m passed that now but I was only able to get beyond it because I came to realize Who is in control of the world. The events at Bear Stearns are all part of His plan. You can be angry with His plan but it doesn’t change His plan. At one level, it’s like going to a museum and getting angry at the exhibits. But that is a rather silly reaction because it doesn’t change the exhibits so you may as well enjoy the museum.

Lesson #2 – Your prayers are answered so think carefully about what you pray for.

We are relative newcomers to Teaneck. We moved here about three years ago. I think the most important force one faces in life is peer pressure – for better or worse – so you have to focus carefully on what the peer pressures are where you live and work. In Teaneck, there is peer pressure to learn. Everyone does it. Every shul competes to have the best learning. The batei medrash (halls of study) are thriving and the shiurim attract crowds. That is one of the main reasons that we moved here.

I had often thought about taking some time off for learning. While my children are “frum from birth,” Nancy and I are balei teshvot – I have done many things, but I essentially see myself as a bit of an idiot savant, that is, I have “done the daf” for over 10 years and attended multiple shiurim, but I had never learned the basics: tefilla, gemara without English on the other side, Chumash with Rashi and other meforshim.

I thought about taking a sabbatical. But I would only do it with these two conditions: I could not take off after a good year, since I needed just one more good year. And I could not take off after a bad year since I really needed a good year to take off. Outside of these two mutually exclusive conditions, I would take time off to learn.

I had started talking to Rabbi Eliyahu Roberts, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Gedola of Teaneck, several months ago. He and I had started learning gemara about once a week – on laws of taking interest – but I realized it was not enough to get me to where I wanted to be. So we began to talk about learning at the yeshiva with some of the boys one or two mornings a week. I think we started to talk about this last November or so. But – when it came down to it -- I could never find the time.

Hashem found the time for me. He cleared my entire schedule. Hashem opened up all of my mornings. Arranged a sabbatical year for me, so to speak.

As I mentioned a moment ago, I saw what happened to Bear Stearns as an “act of G-d.” As we learn though, we never know what G-d’s plan is and I certainly don’t know why Bear Stearns went out of business. But I knew that the message – whatever it is – is that something is supposed to change. It’s not business as usual. Ironically, I had a position if I wanted it at the new firm. In fact, the person who did what I did at JP Morgan coincidentally resigned the day Bear went out of business – for entirely unrelated reasons. So I could have glided from one spot to the next – from one vine to the next – with nary a glitch. But the emails we get from Hashem aren’t always so clear. That is where prayer comes in.

But Hashem does answer prayers. Sometimes it is murky and unclear and sometimes it is a smack on the side of the head.

So that is how I ended up learning two hours a day at Yeshiva Gedola of Teaneck with my excellent chavrusas (study partners).

Being in kollel is not as odd as you think. While there is a generational difference, we recently had a grandchild, so I can talk strollers and pediatricians. Just not about diaper changing. I leave that to the next generation...

Lesson #3 – Think about your legacy.

I was on Wall Street for 25 years including 20 years at Bear Stearns. I had some great calls and made people a lot of money (and may have lost people a lot of money at times as well). I was on the Institutional Investor All-Star team for 16 years, the Wall Street Journal All-Star team for nine years.

But that is not what I will be remembered for from my years at Bear Stearns. The frum world remembers me for running the Bear Stearns minyan – thanks to an email from one of the participants.

Just a bit of history. When Bear Stearns was at 245 Park Avenue, there was a minyan in the stairwell – owing to its legacy as an Olympia & York building. That changed when we moved to a new building at 383 Madison. With tighter security, there was no common area for the minyan so we stopped meeting. A few months after disbanding, a summer intern from YU asked me if I could get a minyan going. In the new building I was able to get the conference room next to my office and we were off and running.

In fact, word got around and we started attracting outsiders from nearby firms. Then – after a few weeks – I got a call from Human Resources at Bear.

I heard you have a minyan at Bear, he said.

Sure, do you want to attend?

No, but there is a problem. There were issues around security with outsiders coming to a “secure” floor.

What can we do, I asked.

I left it in their hands and in Hashem’s hands.

It turns out that there is a law that requires a company to provide its employees with reasonable accommodation to prayer. So while the company did not want an official “Bear Stearns minyan,” they agreed to give me a room every day for prayer – for the “Andy Neff meeting” and to which I could invite some of my friends to enable me to have a minyan. Hence the minyan, where we regularly had 20-30 people and, on a fast day when we had a sefer Torah, we would have more than 100 people.

Here is the final irony. Bear Stearns is gone. But the minyan – which started at 245 Park -- lives on. Roughly one third of the attendees were from JP Morgan, which owned three buildings adjacent to our headquarters, so we simply transferred the management of the minyan over to JPMorgan. A perfect plan for how to make Bear Stearns go away without interfering with the ongoing minyan.

Lesson #4 – Every cost has a benefit and every benefit has a cost

Wall Street is a great place to have a career – especially from a financial standpoint. Moreover, there is the prestige associated with Wall Street and the power, etc. What’s wrong with that?

In Pirkei Avos, perek dalet, first mishnah, Ben Zoma asks: who is wise – the person who learns from everyone else. Who is strong – the person who controls himself. Who is rich? The person who is happy with what he has. Who is honored? The person who honors other people. What is it that ties all these comments together? What ties them together is that each of the middos – wisdom, strength, wealth, honor – can only come from you – no one else can really provide it for you because if you depend on others for these attributes, then they all go away when the external forces, the people go away.

There is a cost to being on Wall Street – and probably in other high-powered positions. You lose track of priorities. You live with such stress all the time that you don’t know what it is like not to have stress. The analogy I use is of a scuba diver who lives from oxygen tank to oxygen tank not realizing that all the oxygen in the world is available to hime five feet above on the surface.

There is a gemara in Pesachim – and again in Bava Basra – that says Olam hafuch rai’si that in Olam Haba we see that the world to come is inverted from this world. That was a hard gemara for me to understand until I left the high-powered world. In that world, what you think is important loses its importance. The things I feared losing the most were the small things: a secretary, car services, etc. The thing I had given up most easily was time - time with family, quality and quantity time. And that I realize has the most value.

I’m not saying that effort is not required and that you shouldn’t devote time to your work – just that there are ways to do it without stress. And – much of it seems so unimportant in retrospect. And also, as we saw in the comments on Bnai Reuven and Bnai Gad, you need to keep your priorities straight.

Lesson #5 – Handling tests – it’s easier than you think.

At one level, I believe that I am fortunate to have this test at this stage in my life.

We learn that Hashem never gives us a test that we cannot handle. To me, conversely, that says that I was not ready to handle this test until now. I feel thankful that I have matured to a level that I can handle something like this.

Moreover, for many of us, our careers are our lives or close to it after our families. The loss of a career is devastating at many levels – some of which I have noted already. And financial turmoil is another nightmare.

But the positive for me is learning that I can deal with it. It’s a new reality, but I am ready for the next reality.

Many ask what is the key to a Jewish community. To some, it is the kosher pizza restaurant. To others, it is a lot of shuls. But what really makes the community whole is the Torah it propagates. Being able to bring Torah to the world is a valuable asset – and I am skilled at identifying undervalued assets.


Andrew Neff was a leading securities analyst on Wall Street including the last 20 years at Bear Stearns, recognized by Institutional Investor and the Wall Street Journal as an All-Star. He now learns in the Yeshiva Gedola of Teaneck in the morning.


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Recent Comments

What a wonderful an inspiring article.

One HeAra: I think we learn to accept Hashem's will as HE is in charge. If you were to face a bus down a narrow street, it is simple that you would give right of way. However, we need to accept Him for more that the fact that He has all the power and He is in charge.

We need to believe that (a) whatever he does is for the best (b) even when we think we know what is the best, we don’t really know.

(a) What ever Hashem does, is always for the best as He is only goodness and has an endless source of goodness. Hashem’s “problem” is not giving goodness, Hashem “problem” is controlling Himself not to give too much of it. Hashem says “You cannot see me as it is not possible to see me and live.” Why not? I surmise that the goodness of Hashem is so great that if we were truly to comprehend it, the soul would be pulled as in a magnet and depart the body to be closer to Him. We say in Shmone Esraei that Hashem is Great and Strong. I surmise that the reason why Great and Strong are together as He is so great with so much goodness that He has to be strong so as not to give us too much.
(b) Hashem's ways are not possible to understand. All we can do is react to what we see when we see His hand -- as we say in Shir Hyichud (free translation) "I imagine You, I describe You and I don't really know You. I compare you according to Your deeds." In other words, it is not possible to understand Hashems ways we can only see what is in front of our nose. Is that really what He is?

Anonymous posted on 07/31 at 06:36 PM.

Andy,

What a mussar haskel! I really took it to heart. It was an honor being a member of the "Andy Neff Meeting". Good luck with the learning!

Mark Zoldan

Mark Zoldan posted on 07/31 at 07:07 PM.

b"h i'm so glad i took the time to read this. it was very inspiring! i found some things i could relate to my own tests and trials.
i am looking forward to reading it over other times for chizuk, etc.
yasher koach. hatzlacha.
warmly, ruth

ruth posted on 07/31 at 09:14 PM.

BS"D
Peace be with you!
Thank you for sharing this powerful story of faith, hope, and grace (hesed).
Shalom uvrakha!
Pastor Frantz

Rev Frantz S.Iago-Peretz posted on 07/31 at 09:56 PM.

Your comments were really very beautiful. I believe that many people can take chizuk from your beautifully described autobiographical notes. I certainly did.

Susan Seltzer posted on 07/31 at 10:39 PM.

Yasher Koach! Hatzlocha with this new Chapter of you life.

Yaacov Simon posted on 07/31 at 11:02 PM.

Thank you for your inspiring article. Yasher koach.

Sima bat Hannah posted on 07/31 at 11:32 PM.

Dear Andy:

I loved the article. It's very inspiring. When you come to Eretz Yisroel, please set aside some time to lecture to our guys at Ohr Somayach. I think it would be a real benefit to them.

Hatzlach Rabba,

Shlomo

shlomo simon posted on 08/01 at 01:30 AM.

Your essay was truly inspiring but there is one more "little" think to aspire to and that is to start thinking of living in the Holyland. While a corporate Minya is gevaldig, and a Teaneck chavrusa + shiurim can lead you in expanding your Torah background, no Jew AND I MEAN NO JEW! should think that this is Lechatchila "OK". The place to be is our God given land where all our learning in multiplied as we live and breathe Judaism, far away from corporate America and its material possessions which posses US and not us THEM!
Think about it as an upgrade and perhaps as a sign from Heaven. Didn't Dovid HaMelech say so himself, "May I sit in the House of the Lord ALL the days of my life". He learned his lessons well, have we?

Yehoshua from Shilo posted on 08/01 at 06:39 AM.

Andy, your article is very inspiring and provides a lot of chisuk to its readers, i am one of them.
Our family had financial up and downs, we also lost a very special and wonderful son of 20 but one thing we never lost is emunah in hashem and that everything that happens even though we dont understand now, is good,because hashem is good and all his ma'asim are good.You write very correctly that hashem never gives us a test we can't handle, i want to confirm that, since my very unbelievable and special wife and i myself have learned to accept what we went through without being miserable.
wishing you and your family strength and hatzlacha rabba in the future. Uri Lebovic

uri lebovic antwerpen belgium posted on 08/01 at 06:56 AM.

Thank you for a great article. I work in downtown Washington and have about an hour commute each way on the subway. I spend my time on the metro doing daf yomi, trying to learn gemara with the help of Artscroll. I recently tried to get a job that was only 2 miles from my house but did not get the position. Having read your article, I think that maybe Hashem knew that if I didn't have my 2 hours on the metro, I would never complete at least one cycle of daf yomi. So perhaps not getting the job nearer to home was really in my best spiritual interest, as I still have my daily 2 hour daf yomi session.

Greg posted on 08/01 at 08:49 AM.

Call me a cynic but I wonder how uch Mr Neff had in savings before embarking on his new (p/t) kollel career. Sometimes G-d simply does not allow us to do what Mr Neff is doing despite whatever desires we may have.

anonymous posted on 08/01 at 10:45 AM.

Well written; it reminded me of Drexel Burnham Lambert (DBL) collapse of the eighties where I worked , a young Sephardic sabra from Teveria (Tiberius), in the Equity Research IT department. Wow - It was the American dream – I have made it - with all the benefits and misguided priorities. It is only after I lost my mother to cancer at 57, I realized what life and mortality is all about; Shgiot mi yavin?

Dear Andy, the collapse of Bear Stearns is not against Teva it’s a natural consequence of greed, chutzpa and lack of humility. - “Mamlachot olot vyordot rak azat Hashem he takum”

I am sure you are thanking Hashem Yom Yom that you can afford to be part of a kollel - we all did. But we must reach out to those who can not!
As far as your legacy goes– please remember - Mishlei 20:7, "He who walks in his integrity as a righteous man, happy are his children [and great children ken yirbu] after him."

Shabbat shalom and may we hear only besorot tovot. And May Hashem give you/ us Shalvat Nefesh.

a sabra posted on 08/01 at 06:44 PM.

Hello Mr. Neff,

Your article truly hit home for me. I am a lawyer with a business degree and 2 years ago, I left work to study in yeshiva in Israel. I thought that I wouldn't have trouble finding a new job or going back to my old firm when I returned. Well, I have been back now for almost a year and no job in sight.

Like you said, it is a bit depressing. I have been learning more which is great, but my situation does test my emunah. After reading your article, I see things in better perspective. I don't have a wife or family yet, but reading your article has made me start to realize that maybe this is H-shem's way of telling me to change my outlook and priorities.

Thank you for your wonderful insights. It has definitely helped me.

Have a great shabbos

Zack posted on 08/01 at 07:38 PM.

Dear Andy and Nancy, You make me proud to be a jew and your friend..May Hashem watch over you and your great family....Rochelle..P.S. Mazel Tov upon becoming first time grandparents !!!!

rochelle frankel posted on 08/03 at 11:07 PM.

My wife and I agree wholeheartedly with Yehoshua from Shilo. There's nothing like Torat Eretz Yisrael.
Note the Art Scroll commentary on the Kinot. There is no substitue for Eretz Yisrael no matter how big the yeshivas are in chutz l'aretz. Rashi says that one who lives in Chutz l'aretz is likened to one who has no G-d.

shlomo f posted on 08/04 at 03:44 AM.

What happened to Bear Sterns was surprising to those inside and outside the financial world - have you taken the time to investigate its rapid downturn?

I highly appreciate your view on Hashems tests and most unusual timing. Yes there are the emotional stages to undergo - how were you able to reason through?

Mazal Tov on the birth of your grandchild. May Hashem bless you and your loved ones.

jessie posted on 08/04 at 10:20 PM.

The minyan continues and thrives

fred polaniecki posted on 08/07 at 11:37 PM.


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