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Why Girls Should Be Shomer Negiah

by "Rita," age 21(not her real name)
Opinions expressed are those of the author

1) In nearly every culture, there is a pattern: when a man looks for a wife, he prefers a virgin. This tendency has proven consistent even in Western cultures.

If you are a young woman and a man is pressuring you for sex, dump him.

Remember, in nearly every culture, when a man looks for a wife, he prefers a virgin. By expecting you to act loose, this man is demonstrating that he does not see a future with you.

2) If you have sex with someone who is not committed to you, the chances are he will never be committed to you, since men are quick to have sex and slow to marry. Every transient relationship you have at this point in your life will make you more jaded, and less capable of handling a loving marriage should it ever come your way. It's a waste of time, and totally not worth it.

3) Sex without commitment is NOT like a burger without fries. If not in the context of commitment, sex is more trouble than it's worth, especially if you are female and not yet totally jaded. It will make you lonelier, more depressed, and worst of all, totally shatter your self-respect. Why not wait for a man who actually deserves you?

4) If you are like most girls, you have hopes and dreams. You want to work on yourself so that one day you can attain them. Why waste your time and energy getting yourself into a relationship before you are ready?

5) If a guy insists on sex before committing to you, repeat this line: "If I was willing to settle for sex without commitment, I'd get a hotter guy!"

Remember, you have backup. Most really hot guys are not like Yosef HaTzaddik; if seduced, they usually will have sex with you. Keep that in mind, and hold your virginity until a man gives you what you really want.

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