Clean Slate

Other organizations like to call a fresh start "secondary" or "born again" virginity. Those terms don't really work for us, but the concept has a certain validity. No, you won't be a virgin again. That action will always leave whatever mark on you, whether emotional or physical. But you can get a fresh start spiritually. It’s called "teshuva."

"Teshuva" is usually translated as "repentance," but it really means "return." When we do teshuva, we are bringing ourselves back, closer to G-d. The Torah speaks of the power of teshuva in many places. The Talmud tells us (Brachos 34b) that even the righteous cannot stand in the place occupied in Heaven by those who have done teshuva.

In order to do teshuva, one must regret their past actions and resolve to act differently in the future. (Saying "sorry" then doing the same thing again doesn't work. Sure, it's possible to slip, but one has to make a real effort to change.) The period from Rosh Hashana through Yom Kippur is called "The Aseres Y'mei Teshuva," The Ten Days of Repentance. This period is easier to do teshuva, but teshuva can actually be done at any time.

The Talmud says (Yoma 86b) that if one does teshuva out of fear of G-d, all of his sins will be forgiven. But if one does teshuva out of love of G-d, his sins are actually transformed into mitzvos! Similarly, our mistakes are turned from wasted opportunities to positive learning experiences.

Teshuva is especially relevant in the area of abstinence. We see in many places that one can take the baggage of one's past and change one's life. Elazar ben Dordaiah was so promiscuous they say he slept with every prostitute in the world. His teshuva was so sincere that when he died, the title "Rabbi" was added to his name in Heaven. Rachav (the Biblical Rahab in the book of Joshua) was a prostitute. She was so renowned that the mere mention of her name provoked an involuntary physical reaction in men who knew her. (You're going to have to use your imagination on this one. We're very straightforward on this site, but we're not that graphic.) But she did teshuva and not only did she marry Joshua, the leader of the entire Jewish nation, she was worthy of being the ancestor of eight prophets, including Jeremiah.

One important thing to remember about teshuva is that it doesn't work unless one is sincere and makes an honest effort to change. Teshuva also doesn't work if one says, "I will do this even though I know it's wrong because I can always do teshuva later."

To see more about the power of teshuva, read Sara's Story.

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