Advice for More Successful Abstinence

Abstinence doesn't just happen by itself and just saying "no" isn't much of a strategy. You have to think about it, plan a course of action, and stick to it. Here are some ideas to help.

*Draw the line. Define for yourself where the boundary is and stick to it.

*Understand why. Think about your reasons for being abstinent. This will help you when things are tough.

*Keep your mind clean. It's normal to think about sex. In fact, it's hard to watch TV or pick up a magazine without some advertiser trying to make you think about sex! Try to stimulate your mind with forms of entertainment that won't stimulate other parts of you.

*Talk to your BF or GF. This is the kind of thing you really have to make clear for the other person so that you're on the same page as far as expectations. If the other person respects your position on the subject, you'll be much more successful than if they're working at cross-purposes with you.

*Respect the other person. Real love puts the other person's needs first. If anyone ever says, "If you love me, you'd do X, Y and Z," walk away because they don't really love you. Someone who truly loves you would not ask you to do something you thought was wrong.

*Limit time spent alone. It's normal to want to be alone with your bf or gf, but that's when the problems occur. Spend more time doing things with your families and friends.

*Remind yourself daily. Once you decide where you're going to draw the line, remind yourself of your commitment every day.

*Every day is a new start. If you cross the line you've set for yourself, don't give up. That doesn't mean that it's all over. You can press the reset button and start over again today.

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