What’s Behind the OU Symbol?

You go, gir!

BS”D

You are absolutely correct about virtually every point you make.  It is entirely wrong to make singles into second class citizens.  This nonsense allows shadchanim to operate with an imbalance of power, frequently also with a conflict of interests and far too often with disrespect. 

The one point with which I take issue is that you categorize New York in such a way as to make it seem as if it is almost impossible to find a worthwhile spouse elsewhere.  Frankly, being as enlightened as you are in so many other ways, I’m willing to bet that you’ll have better luck outside of New York where the nonsense that you have so eloquently discredited is not so readily accepted. 

I met my wife in a little, old shteb’l where the average age was probably 65 and it was rare to have more than 14 men and half that number of women on any given Shabbos.  Anybody would have told me that I was not being responsible in my search for a wife by going to that shul, but, as it turns out, I only needed to find one spouse and the right one happened to like the same quiet, eminently spiritual and completely pretensionless environment that so appealed to me.

I suspect that you will find success where you have gone.  In New York you, seemingly, found one person after another who accepted the bizarre dating rituals and slighting of singles that has become par for course there.  Other communities have other customs and a good sight more common sense (much like yourself).  Don’t bring New York with you and you will surely find success.

I wish you only hotzlocho and brocho and a hearty yasher koach!

Because of the pressure to get married, people rush into unhappy marriages and voila! The divorce crisis (high divorce rate among frum Jews). About time someone said that!